"Anchors in the Storm: Eye of the Storm"

Let me get at it. For the past 2 years for a whole bunch of reasons I found myself in kind of a bad spot. The demands of my life and this job (leadership) had pretty much completely exhausted me. My tanks were on empty in nearly every area of my life.

Physically – not well – tired – unhealthy
Mentally – fatigued
Emotionally – drained
Spiritually – depleted

And I couldn’t really find a way to fill those tanks, back up

So we (me and the leadership) made a decision to get me out of the game for a while (6 months) Heal up – rest – lick my wounds – sort some things out. To see if I could get out of the darkness.

My task was really simple - rest – find some healthy patterns again.

Begin to take notice – to begin to do the hard work of becoming a little more self – aware.

Ask some bigger questions:

Who am I?
What drives me?
Why did I let myself get to this low point?
How did that actually take place?
How can I find the light and begin to crawl out of this hole I found myself in?

I needed to take some time to just take notice.

Counseling
Medical Doctors
Fitness routine
Journaling
Faithful friends
Study

Marriage strengthening (9 days in Colorado Mountains-6 hours of therapy every day). Super intensive season of hard work inside – yet seasons of great rest as well.

10 or so key life principles dropped out of this time for me - today I will share 5 transferable principles – (for me and for us). Ways we can find a peaceful center in a storm.

Pretty raw – confessions – permission to be real – work in progress.

Before I begin, I wanted you to feel where I have been. This next song describes it well.

Pray

Here’s the first thing I realized these past months.

In the centre of a storm – in order to survive you must sort out your own identity.

1. Know who you are (before the storm hits) and whose you are

Because – who you think you are is sometimes not always true. Here’s my story. For 19 years I have lead at Lakeview Church (since I was 21 years old) and I have lead in a – very raw emotional, passionate and real way. And this job is incredibly public and there is just some very unique pressures that come with that. I live in a glasshouse (more than anyone else I know) – that’s just real. When I was 29 I was given the job of Senior Pastor and basically given the keys to lead this church. And was given huge freedom - without many strings attached. And right or wrong – there were very few fences put up in front of me – just raw leadership. And along with that freedom – came position and titles and accolades and popularity and a measure of success. The church grew and it’s been an incredible ride (remember 300 people) I wouldn’t have traded it for anything. And somewhere in there – my identity actually got kinda wrapped up in this thing called Lakeview Church. And the lines got blurred between Dean the person, and Dean the leader of this awesome thing God is doing. And the lines got blurred between Dean the pastor who married us . . . (and hopefully soon will marry our kids) and Dean the friend and Dean the guy who leads the church. And during the last 19 years all of my identity lines got mixed up and blurred until there was no separation between my life and this church and no separation between my life and this job and no separations – between living and leading. That’s not all bad, but not all good.

Fast forward – last April 1st I walked out of here a pretty busted up and broken down man. And for the last 7 months I became nobody at all – I mean- I wasn’t anyone’s leader at all – I wasn’t anyone’s pastor, I didn’t have a title or position (or even want one.) I didn’t even have a job for that matter – I had no crowds to speak to – no friends around me . . . . . (most of the time – I was alone.) I had my family (and I’ll get there in a moment), but for the first time ever I was alone – just Dean. And I was not only alone – but I was weak in the centre of that storm. And I was forced to come face to face with my own identity. And now – this may not be a big surprise to any of you who are further ahead in your life journey than I am, but this summer (in human terms) – I was a nothing – I was nobody (wait) and yet I discovered that God loved me. I had absolutely nothing to offer God but my silence (and anguish), and yet He was extremely pleased with my offering. I had nothing to say – and no one to help, and nothing to lead or even do and yet I felt the smile of God in my soul like I haven’t since I was a child.

And folks just hear this – to search for the presence of God when you have nothing to offer him – and then to find that presence, is just a remarkable and rare gift. I want you to hear the words of Zephaniah (the prophet) written 1000’s of years ago – about how God views us.

The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17 (NIV)

He takes great delight in us – He rejoices over us even when we have nothing to give in return.

So maybe there is something here for you, (from my story). If you find yourself in a storm (or a dark place) or if you’re struggling with what your identity should be rooted in. Just hear this - God doesn’t love Dean because he is a leader or a pastor or because he helps people. God doesn’t love Dean because he has influence, or because he can preach, or because he’s a fun loving guy with lots of energy to give. God just loves Dean (full stop) even when He has absolutely nothing to offer (He loves Dean) and

He is pleased with Dean even when he can’t or isn’t doing anything at all.

And I want you to hear that. God doesn’t love you for what you do or accomplish. He loves you because you are His – a child of the King and an heir to His kingdom. And when you sort that out – you will never be alone again and your identity will be solidly rooted in truth. You will know who you are because you know whose you are.

Trust me – if you and I can get this identity thing figured out we will weather many storms yet to come.

Second thing I had to learn and I won’t take a bunch of time on this, but the centre of a storm is no time to be concerned about your own pride.

2. Controlling Ego and the Seduction of Privilege has been a huge learning curve for me.

If you study the history of leadership in this world (political or religious) and the best place to do that is in the Old Testament of the Bible. You will find leader after leader after leader who struggled with controlling their pride and ego. And that struggle especially during stormy seasons of their lives – often caused them to fall and to fail as people and as leaders . . .

In the Old Testament alone King Uzziah and King Solomon and King David 3 of the greatest leaders in all of history every one of those guys capitulated to the seduction of privilege and position. And it caused deep pain not only in their own lives, but in their families, and to untold millions of people in the nation in which they lead.

The inability to manage ego is a huge thing in our lives to get figured out and especially if you are a leader. So long story short – just write that down – I’ll speak on it later on in the year.

But hear this - deal with your pride and ego issues before a storm hits your life. I thought I had this in check in my life – I thought I was a pretty humble guy, but I wasn’t and I haven’t been as humble as I need to be to lead this church.

My Dad used to say, “pride cometh before a fall.” And I’m not sure if that’s in the Bible or not, but this is. The book of James says this, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”

James 4:6b

He opposes the proud – strong arms a man with an inflated

Ego,but he gives grace to the humble.

I gotta tell you I found it very difficult to be needy – I found it very hard to be weak. And I need to say to you (the church) I’m sorry and I need forgiveness for when I have been cocky or arrogant in my leadership with you.

Some of you have felt that in a more personal way than others and if you have - hear my heart. I have asked God to deal with my pride and ego and with His help and yours I believe the good thing can continue to happen inside me.

Big deal – here is the 3rd thing I realized during these last dark and stormy days. It is crucial.

3. Develop Remarkable Relationships

I know I say this all the time, but I tell you what when a storm hits you find out where the relational weaknesses in your life are incredibly fast. When a storm rages in your world only outstanding and remarkable relationships weather that storm.

And what we need to be developing in our lives are reciprocal relationships – people that give and not just take.

People who are not only in our inner circle during good times, but in harsh times as well. Gordon MacDonald says this, “We need relationships and people that can look into our lives and give a stunning and accurate review.” And even if that review is not shining it will be accurate if you have developed remarkable

relationships before a storm hits. We must have friends who can speak strength and encouragement and truth into our lives so that when the waves of life crash against and over us we have people who know how to stand with us – even during the darkest of seasons.

2 things here – God has been gracious to me.

1. Pastor’s Cabinet – Lee Barbour, Mark Babin, Bob Hamm and Jerry Reimer – spoke truth and life and strength into me. Faithful to the church and me. Light during some of the darkest days of my life (may God bless those men) for their faithfulness and commitment to this church and me.

Brad – constant source of encouragement.

2. My Family

People hear this - I am a man most blessed to have these 4 in my life. During an extended season where I have not been super easy to live with. Where I have been different and weaker than I usually am. I need to tell you my wife Pam has been an incredible life partner, her love for me has been unquestioned, her strength has been unbelievable, she has been the anchor for our family this past year. He faith is unequalled.

My kids – incredible – the last 6 months I just took time to be their dad. And that job – being their dad is an awesome privilege and responsibility that far outweighs anything I have ever done.

3. Other deep and loyal friends

New life Goal of Success – “Those closest to me love and respect me the most.” Just let that sink in.

Sometimes we think success is wrapped up in money or work or climbing this or growing that and that’s just not real success.

Folks, develop remarkable relationships because when a storm hits your life very little else really matters.

Two more big ideas God has been allowing me to learn during these past months. Again, transferable principles – not just for me, but for us.

Grasp the 2 great paradoxes of life –

1. There is great strength during seasons of great weakness.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (NIV) The apostle Paul reminds us of this – he says, God says, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore (Paul says) I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (Paradox)

For years when I read that I never really got what the Apostle Paul was saying I mean I would see it in other people like Brigitte Carroll or Laura Beach, 2 women who as their bodies were getting beat up by cancer they simply grew stronger in spirit. They were stronger spirituality during the weakest part of their lives, physically (they lived out the paradox.)

But for me I had never really grasped this whole thing until these past months when I got to a low point of being mentally and physically pretty well spent and really I was all used up emotionally. When I hit the bottom of that for a while (like I couldn’t even summon the courage to return a phone call just in case the person on the other end of the phone needed something from me.) Not until I got there, to that low point did I really experience the true strength of God actually carrying me. When we are weak – He is strong.

You know I gotta tell you something really straight. I have lived the last 20 years of my life – (in a lot of ways), but especially professionally (in this role) believing that I could do everything everyone required of me and that I was strong enough to handle that.

Well the truth is I’m not that strong – Pope Gregory said this – a few hundred years ago to a group of young leaders, “Don’t be inordinately assured of your own strength.”

What he said was absolutely true and when we act like and then live like we can take on anything that comes our way on our own and in our own strength or when we live with a, “bring it on” – “let’s just do one more thing” lifestyle. God would say this, but Dean you’re missing the whole point – “real” strength comes when you are forced to be weak enough to fully trust in God’s all powerful (never- tiring) strength.

Psalm 147:10 (NIV)

His pleasure is not in the strength of the horse, nor his delight in the legs of a man;

Psalm 33:16-18 (NIV)

No king is saved by the size of his army; no warrior escapes by his great strength. A horse is a vain hope for deliverance; despite all its great strength it cannot save. But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love,

Folks, this has been a really big deal for me to begin to learn. I am a workaholic and an adrenaline junkie – who just loves to be absolutely exhausted at the end of every day. And for the past 20 years that has been an unwise way to live and now I am reaping what I sowed and it is not good!

So, there’s my confession – I have not lived well in front of you in this way and that is wrong. My example has not been good.

When I left last April I told you the story of a Scottish (100 years ago) preacher who ran so hard during his early years he worked so hard proclaiming the Good News of Jesus that he died at the age of 28 of sheer exhaustion. On his deathbed he said this, “I was given a horse to ride and a great message to deliver – alas I have killed the horse.” With the help of God I want to turn this one around because this horse has been damaged a bit from running too hard.

So, I’m gonna just trust God that during my weakness He will be strong. I’m gonna live in that paradox and I’m gonna try hard to lead all of you to think in terms of a Sabbath (based allocation of time) and what that might look like in the culture we live in. Last thing – stay with me.

2nd Great Paradox of Faith that we need to understand – (for the church during a stormy season).

Down is actually up in the kingdom of God. Listen to what Jesus said . . . in Mark 9. “If anyone wants to be first he must be the very last and the servant of all.” And then He steps it up a notch. In Matthew . . . “Whoever wants to be great among you must be your servant and whoever wants to be first must be your slave just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve and to live his life as a ransom for many.”

Then hear these words from Zechariah the prophet written 1000’s of years ago,
Zechariah 4:6 (NIV)

'Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,' says the LORD Almighty.

Not by power or might, but by my spirit. Folks, this is a word for our church during a very stormy season in the life of this church – a season where I think a lot of us got tired from getting this building and move done. A season where I have been sidelined and beat up a bit (as a leader) and a season where other leaders that we dearly love have been disqualified from the race and where the leaders of our church have been under incredible pressure. This has been a season truthfully where the enemy is trying to divide us as much as he possibly can. Whether that is in our families and marriages or frustrated church members – weary leaders.

Hear this - the main job of our spiritual enemy is to divide what God has brought together. To scatter what God has gathered. His name – Diablo – the devil – actually means – the one who divides. The one who separates - Satan.

Catch this, all Satan has to do – all the enemy of our souls has to do to beat us or to beat the work that God is doing in the church, all He has to do is to divide us. A family divided will fall – a marriage divided will fall – and a church where division exists will fall – it’s just a matter of time.

And this is real. And this church has been and is under attack. I believe there is a spiritual storm raging against us and to battle against the enemy here’s what we have to do to stop him.

After we pray and I hope you pray continually for the church and for our leaders be in prayer these days. But then how to stand against the enemy’s storm is really pretty simple in the church, but it’s not easy. Humility and mutual submission and serving other people is how darkness (divisions) is beaten. That’s what God’s been telling me.
Zechariah 4:6b (NIV)

It is 'Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,' says the LORD Almighty.

It is not by anger and selfishness and holding out for our own way that the enemy gets beat. It is not by picking sides in a controversy or by having to be in control that the enemy gets beat. Whether that’s in your marriages or your work places or in your parenting or in you views of stuff going on in the church.

People when we’re doing all that stuff and when that’s our attitude we are ripe for division and we are ripe for his axe to fall on us and divide us. But here’s where the real power in the church comes from – when we come together in humility and lay down the axes we’ve got to grind in our marriages – or in our families or in the church. When we come together in a spirit of mutual submission and grace and forgiveness and humility. When we come to serve and not be served. When we come to be last not first that’s when the church has power in this world and that’s when the church defeats the one who wants to divide. And that’s when our families come together instead of busting apart and that is when our marriages are forged into something powerful and strong.

People hear this – when you come in these doors come in humility and to serve your brothers and sisters. When you go home today – serve your family – serve your friends. When you get a chance to lead or to have influence in life or the church do so with great humility.

Because it’s not by power and it’s not be might, but it’s by the spirit and the kingdom of heaven does not run by human rules. Down is actually up and last is actually first and the greatest really is the one who serves. That’s a picture of the kingdom of heaven.