"Lust"

The title is LUST . . . and we’ll certainly hit that theme . . . but I’m gonna talk most specifically about sex . . . or maybe I should say sexuality and the way God designed us as sexual beings . . .

So . . . let’s get right at it – shall we? Lots of info:

• listen well
• stay tuned in
• take some notes

First let me say that my job of preparing for this subject wasn’t that tough . . . because the Bible, (God’s Word) doesn’t’ back away from talking about human sexuality at all. It is openly discussed . . . It starts on page 2 in the Bible and on up . . . (right on page 2) . . . sexuality begins to be celebrated as a gift from God. Listen to this first encounter at the time of creation . . . ,

“Then God made . . . a woman and brought her to the man. ‘This is it,’ Adam exclaimed . . . and the man and his wife were both naked, but neither was embarrassed or ashamed . . .” (Genesis 2:22 and 25, LB)

This is a beautiful way to start what I’m gonna say today . . . because here at the very beginning of the human race . . . we find the man and the woman drawn to each other, naked (no clothes, walking around) and not ashamed . . . Why? Because they knew and understood that they were both the creation – the handiwork – the artwork – of God . . . and so is their passionate affection (the artwork of God) . . . . . . Adam and Eve knew something that our society has forgotten . . . that sexuality is a gift – direct from the hand of God . . . and it is to be fully experienced in the light – with no darkness attached to it . . . at all. It isn’t something to be hidden . . . As you read this (story) . . . and see the picture . . . it becomes obvious . . . the two of them are in relationship . . . in love with each other and with God . . . Why should there be shame? Their sexuality is the creation of God . . . and to Adam and Eve it was natural and normal to see it as that . . .

So right off the bat, let’s clear up any misconception (we may have) that somehow Hollywood – or Playboy – or some freedom searching hippie in the 60’s really figured this whole sex thing out. You know . . . our culture is arrogant enough to believe . . . I mean . . . we actually think – we invented sex – Hear this sex was God’s idea first. He is the one who created it . . . and if we want to more clearly understand sex . . . He’s the one to go to. Always has been, always will be . . .

This also brings up a great dimension of our sexuality that most of us don’t understand . . . that our sex lives and spiritual lives are completely intertwined.

The apostle Paul said it like this (1 Corinthians 6:16), “There’s much more to sex than mere skin to skin, sex is as much a spiritual mystery as it is a physical act.” (The Message).

See folks, most of us have an incomplete understanding of sex and how it fits with the rest of who we are . . . Here’s the picture: God designed you in three dimensions . . . you have a spirit – you have emotions – and you have a body. You are a spiritual being you have the ability to connect with God. You are an emotional being you have the ability to have and feel relationships. And you are also a physical being . . . Now, sex – as God intended us to have it – happens in all three dimensions.

We cannot separate these three . . . and when you think about that fact . . . (connecting our spiritual lives with our sexual lives) . . . it places sex on a whole new plane. What a high view of our sexuality . . . sex that grows out of a deepening emotional and spiritual relationship.

Now the key to understanding these dimensions together – spirituality and sexuality – is in understanding their relationship . . . See, (the relationship between male and female is the human expression of our relationship with God) (repeat) God said – follow me – be in relationship with me – one on one for a lifetime . . . And so God’s design when He created sex is for male and female to be in an intimate relationship together – a relationship for life – within marriage.

In the very beginning, God make it very clear and in fact He only described sex as happening within a marriage based relationship . . . Genesis 2:24 says, “A man is joined with his wife in such a way that the two become one person.” (Beautiful picture)

(God’s design for sex, was only ever intended to be expressed within the intimacy and commitment of a marriage relationship.) So let me draw this picture very clearly . . . anything outside of that picture of sex is an imitation of the real thing . . . and is not in the design of God . . .

Now, far too often the church has only talked about sex in a negative way – like it is sinful and evil and dark. We’ve normally only dealt with the sin side of sex. Well, let me set the record straight, for the church as a whole . . . sex is great! Really great! . . . And it’s great because God designed it to fit within certain boundaries and it’s great because He committed it to our whole being – spirit – emotional and physical – all combined . . . That’s what makes it GREAT . . . and yet our culture says the exact opposite to us . . .

Our whole culture is feeding us these lines every day . . . that sex has no boundaries . . . and that there is no specific relationship for sex to be in – that sex is just something to do – it’s a physical act . . . and marriage . . . what does sex have to do with marriage? - And nothing will happen to you if you detach the spiritual or emotional from sex . . . Even on PG 13 movies like the one we just showed you . . . our culture is sending us a message . . .

And into this barrage from our culture . . . comes the Word of God . . .

• “Keep clear of all sexual sin . . .” (1 Thessalonisans 4:3)
• “But sexual sin is never right . . . our bodies were not made for

that . . . “ (1 Corinthians 6:13)

• “Run from sexual sin. . . no other sin affects the body as this one does . . .” (1 Corinthians 6:18)

So what do these sexual sins include? Well . . . let me run down a list from the bible for you, just in case you thought there might be one or two God had gone soft on – or was rethinking. I’m talking about certain and specific sexual activities outside of marriage . . . I’m talking about:

• sex before you’re married and still single – even if you’re really in love (if you’re in love, get married)
• adultery – sex with someone who you’re not married to (or if they’re married to someone else)
• sex after you’re divorced and are single
• sexual abuse/rape/incest
• pornography of all kinds
• homosexuality/bisexuality

All these things walk clearly off the path that God has chosen for us and walk away from the original design that sex was created for in our lives . . .

So why would Go be so restrictive? “Sex only in the bounds of marriage,” Well, here’s why: because His desire is to make us whole and complete and for us not to live in half-truths or deception. And I think there are a couple verses I would love for all of us to understand and really soak up the truth from . . . here’s how the apostle Paul described it . . . “Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the truth of God for a lie and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator” (Romans 1:22, 23).

On word to focus on . . . exchanged. Let’s talk about what those exchanges, that we are so often told to make when it come to sex: . . . and I believe it is (none other than) the enemy of our souls that is whispering these exchanges into our ear . . .

The first exchange is perhaps more for men than women – but it is critical for all of us to see . . . because I believe it is morally crippling our society . . .

Exchange #1 Pornography vs Reality

In the last 10 years – pornography has seen astronomical growth and influence in our culture . . . sexual images are common place (in our homes) on T.V. or the internet and early every home is bombarded with porn at the click of a button and the industry continues to grow and it’s influence is growing by leaps and bounds every year . . . one of the greatest deceptions about sex in our society today is pornography and the message it sends . . . That sex is not about relationship or about emotionally engaging – but it’s simply about a body and a mental image. See – what pornography does is it makes sex trivial – a quick visual thrill, instead of the true picture of intimate sex within a deep relationship. Pornography lies to us about what sexual fulfillment really is . . . and cheapens it to a moment and a picture . . .

Ever been to Vegas? Pam and I went last year – fun and lots to see but let me tell you how I felt when I was there. The whole city is built on addictions – whether booze or gambling or sex. It’s a city thriving on immorality . . . but sex is right in your face when you go there . . . prostitution is legal – pornography is everywhere – and women are showpieces. But how I felt was saddened – because you could see it in their eyes, and feel it as you walked along – that the beauty was only skin deep – and how fake it all seemed . . . (sex was reduced to a cheap thrill.) And all I could think about was the number of men who were imprinting their minds with a false picture of sexual fulfillment (in pornography) and how their wives (or future wives) could never live up to the false picture of sex they were putting into their minds . . . and how disillusioned these onlookers would someday be with a picture . . .

They believed a lie and worshiped the creation – worshiped a picture – that was probably altered anyway . . . and worshiped false situations – and instead of worshiping the Creator and they believed a lie . . .

Guys – the fasted growing segment of the pornography industry – porn for women (target audience) pornography is a lie that leads to self-destruction and relational destruction and addiction . . . It’s not real and it doesn’t last . . . it’s a cheap imitation at best. And if you’re into it (whether its on the . . . internet, movies, magazines) you need to get out of it . . . and I know you’re probably thinking I’m over-reacting . . . or over stating the danger . . . but – I’m not – not even a little bit . . . when we exchange the truth and beauty of God’s plan – for a lie . . . we are walking on dangerous ground and there will be consequences in our lives . . . and in our families and in our culture.

Here’s what I believe . . . I believe that pornography steals the clarity of walking in a healthy sexual relationship . . . and every time we watch it . . . it ruins our chances of walking in fulfillment and wholeness in a marriage relationship – with real sex - the way God designed it . . .

Folks, there is nothing good about porn – and I really believe it is a great way for the enemy to lie to us about the truth of God.

So . . . if you’re in – get out . . . get help it’s so addicting . . . (get accountable – talk to someone_ Don’t exchange the truth for a life!

Here’s the second exchange that gets whispered in our ears . . .

Exchange #2 Intimacy vs Emptiness

I John 1:1 says this, “The world thinks that intimacy occurs in the dark, but God says real intimacy occurs in the light! There is no intimacy without honesty.”

The sexual mindset of our society today also tries to sell us another counterfeit – that is counterfeit intimacy. Every human being craves one thing . . . more than any other – (it is a stronger pull that even the most powerful of needs ) . . .that is our craving for intimacy.

Intimacy – by definition – is “marked by a close association” – “a friendship of the most intrinsic, close, warm nature.”

One of our basic needs as human beings is to be loved and cared for and known by another human being.

Well . . . here’s the scoop: our world is trying to sell this bill of goods that says sex – (a half hour physical act) – even between strangers – will supply you with intimacy. How mistaken we are . . . how bizarre that we have reduced intimacy to a few steamy moments which of course – most importantly – are protected from disease. We often believe the lies that 2 people meet and have sex for one night – and that life doesn’t get better or intimate thanthat.

Can I tell you the truth? The act of sex alone does not provide you with the intimacy you are longing for.

God’s plan for intimacy between human beings is so much more. God says that in the marriage relationship, a man and a woman become one flesh – they are one – united together. This speaks of the joining of two people’s lives – hearts – and souls for a lifetime – with God guiding them.

See folks . . . God’s plan for us is to be fulfilled and complete and whole . . . and this ultimate fulfillment for our lives is built on the foundations of a relationship with God. (People), intimacy is found not through some sexual encounter of one kind or another – but it’s found in God alone . . . and when we try to replace God’s intimacy with some form of sex . . . it’s an exchange that isn’t real and we believe a lie in our lives . . . and it will leave us empty . . .

A few years ago, I ran into an old high school acquaintance. Beautiful girl – but lonely, rough home-life. She graduated wan went on to college . . . but she continually longed to be loved and cared for – and she searched for it through relationships and mostly through sex.

I met her again when she was 30 – her life was a wreck of abuse and regret and demolished emotion – a couple of kids in a broken home. She cried when we talked of her past and her desire to follow a new plan and . . . how she had found God in the middle of her wrecked life and was beginning to find true love.

She said, “All I ever wanted was someone to love me for who I am inside.” She was searching for emotional - relational – intimacy and fulfillment. (Let me ask you this? . . . ) How many one night stands and affairs, start out by searching for fulfillment and intimacy – but they leave us empty and alone.

Sex alone won’t give you intimacy . . . that’s what she would tell you. (And God would to). Real intimacy and real fulfillment is found in another spot . . .

Exchange #3: Freedom vs. Bondage

(Last one – still with me?) (Meet Kyle) Kyle is 42 years old and is newly divorced. . . and Kyle has been searching for sexual freedom for years. He started with pornography as a kid which led to his sexual escapades as a teenager and he slept with a dozen women before he tied the knot with Suzie. Sex with Suzie was incredible – it couldn’t get any better than this (at least Kyle thought). . . and Suzie was beautiful (a model, etc.) . . .

But then 6 years later, they added a couple of kids to the mix and sex became more irregular and the relationship was strained . . . and Kyle wasn’t having any fun. And Suzie didn’t look as good anymore (not as good) as last August’s centrefold did . . . All Kyle wanted was a little freedom and some fun . . .

So Kyle went and found some fun . . . her name was Kristi . . . the waitress at the donut shop. And after awhile, he left his wife an left his kids . . . in search of freedom – that was 2002 . . .

And now he’s 43 – he’s alone again – the waitress wouldn’t have him – his kids hate him . . . and to top it all off, he’s picked up some disease and he’s at the doctor . . . See . . .

The choices that he thought would be freeing sexually . . . ruined his whole life . . .

Married people, listen up if you think you can walk away from a marriage simply to have sex with someone else and have no consequences, think again. If you think your kids will be okay with it, they won’t be. If you think there are no results to a choice like adultery, think again. You’re believing a lie . . .

And catch this if you’re connecting relationally with someone other than your spouse, get out now . . . because you’re probably already believing a lie . . .that says freedom is all about selfish choices. Wrong that’s called bondage – and it will ruin your life . . .

See folks, . . . and this is what I’m always amazed at . . . What’s happening in our society is not new. The misuse of sex is 1000’s of years old . . . but we are just arrogant enough to believe that we’re the first culture to really be free sexually . . .

But the apostle Paul says . . . hear the truth. Sex is a great gift from God . . . but we human beings aren’t satisfied with keeping it where God intended it (within marriage) and so we tend to twist the truth . . . and we say . . . what if we did this with it . . . what if we did that and we worship and glorify sex, rather than the One who created it . . .

So, God says that there are consequences that go along with twisting the gift of sex. And I believe our society is reaping those consequences . . . with the evil and the abuse of the innocents . . . and as disease and broken relationships run rampant . . . Now you may say . . . I don’t walk down the dark and evil side of sex . . . but many of us will walk on the grey side . . . or what seems to be the gray side . . .

And so we walk on the grey side.

• Stay a virgin until I’m married? Are you crazy? Nobody does that anymore!
• A bit of pornography won’t hurt
• That movie really wasn’t so bad . . . was it?
• A questionable relationship outside of marriage
• A touch that lingers too long.
• “We’ll just fool around . . . we won’t go all the way” (when your dating)

Why do we think that these are okay – that they are pretty much innocent? And why don’t we see that it’s only one step . . . that we’re sliding down a pretty slippery slope?

Bottom line: there are no grey areas when it comes to sex . . . it’s black and white. God’s word is very clear . . . He draws a line. Sex is to be within marriage alone - shared by a man and a woman for life. Outside of that, we’re exchanging the truth for a lie and there are consequences to be suffered . . .

Sound harsh? That’s because it is. Society has made its choice known. . . and it’s harsh . . . and we’re reaping the atrocities of the sexual choices we have allowed to happen . . . and we see it all over society

• Teenage prostitution
• Child Pornography
• Divorce rates skyrocketing
• Sexual disease – rampant

Yet, we cringe when God draws the line and when He says, “Keep sex within marriage and you’ll be very blessed if you do – you’ll be rewarded.” God draws the line so that sex won’t hurt us – but instead will bless us . . . See folks, when we keep sex within marriage, God blesses us . . .

• With marriages that work.
• With physical bodies free from sexual diseases.
• With memories that are clear of imprints. (Huge thing – when you have sex with someone – you leave a piece of you with them and you take a piece of them with you . . .)
• With the ultimate sexual fulfillment and pleasure happening within the bounds of marriage.

Those are the blessings of doing sex God’s way, and that is how to bring freedom to a society.

3 things as we close (hopefully be practical):

• If you’ve messed up sexually (sex outside of marriage) – got a past or are living in it now Maybe you’ve felt the damage that the misuse of sex can cause . . . imprints – memories – disease – addictions . . . If that’s you . . . 2 steps . . . out . . .
• Get clean – ask God to forgive . . . He will. We have a God of second chances. Experiencing His forgiveness is an awesome and powerful thing – especially when it’s sexual forgiveness. God has the ability to heal and deal with our pasts – gives us the ability to – start over.
• Get help – if you’re addicted, find someone to help you . . .and with God’s help, break the cycle. “Every man’s battle.”
• If you are in a grey area, (questionable relationship messing with pornography) realize it’s not grey . . . it’s black or white. If you haven’t messed up – don’t! The benefits of staying pure . . . are amazing!
• The third thing to remember as we close is a dare (take the challenge):

I dare you to challenge God to His promise of ultimate sexual fulfillment when you follow His plan I challenge you. If you’re not married – wait. Whether our society is choosing to not care really isn’t the issue . . . And if you’re married – stay with your partner and build a marriage with God’s help and blessings.

Folks, believe the truth about God (not a lie). Sex within the bounds of marriage is not about regrets (too many regrets in this world). It’s only about God’s ultimate blessing of sexual fulfillment and intimacy.

Follow God’s way . . . His way is best in all things and especially when it comes to sex!