"Who's In The Kitchen - What's In The Soup?"
Dean AngellSeptember 13/14, 2003
Well, we're in the midst of a series called "Who's In the Kitchen?". And last week we talked about the pressure cooker, and how there is just so much pressure surrounding us in life and most specifically, the pressure bearing down on our families. Well, this week we're back in the kitchen - but we want to talk more about a slow cooker - a crock pot - than we do a pressure cooker.
This week is called "What's in the Soup?" and it's all about a recipe for creating greatness in our families. Every day this week I was only thinking about one thought - food. Well, to be exact I was thinking about soup. Someone thought it might help - so they sent this e-mail to me..
So - I was thinking about what creates great soup versus what makes average or below average soup. And really it's quite simple. The right ingredients + time = great soup. And the more I thought about it, the clearer and simpler it got. Right ingredients + time = great soup. Now, sure you've gotta put the right amount of each ingredient in..But after that all it needs is time..Got me thinking - Is there anything like the smell of a big pot of soup simmering on the stove when you come in from the cold? Not much. Amazing.
The right ingredients plus time = great soup..Well today I would like to propose this as a suggestion for our families as well..that the recipe for great soup and great families is exactly the same. The right ingredients + time = great family. Let me substitute on word and say this. The right values + time = a great family.
Today we're gonna talk family values, and there's a couple sets of Bible verses that will be the cornerstone of this message. Proverbs 22:6 says this.."Train up your children in the way they should go, and when they are old they will not turn from it."
That verse has significant impact for everyone..because it speaks more of influence than it does of parenting. And every one of us has influence. You know, nearly all my life I have had the incredible opportunity (and responsibility) to have significant and consistent influence over at least one child that wasn't my own. All of us are influencers and hold responsibility for training up children.
Deuteronomy 6 says this.."Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates." (Deut. 6:4-9)
Let's talk about a recipe for family greatness and strength. First - start with the right base.
I. The Right Base
Every cook who wants to create a great soup has got to start with the end results in mind..They think about what kind of soup they want to create and then work backwards from there..They make sure they have all the spices and all the ingredients before they begin..and they know before they even get going what base they need to start with to get the end result they want. Will it be a tomato-based soup? Tomato vegetable. tomato ravioli..tomato noodle..Or will it be a cream-based soup - cream of potato..cream of mushroom..Or will it be clear? Vegetable or beef with barley or chicken noodle.
No matter what the soup looks like in the end, the key to great soup is beginning with the end in mind, and backing up from there. The key is beginning with the right base - the right foundation..because that never changes. If that base changes, the cook is in trouble.
Moses said to all the people.. "Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts." I love Moses. He's so straight up. He says - before you start thinking about passing anything of value on to another generation - before you start talking to your kids - before you start your cooking - make sure your base is decided upon. Make sure you're committed to a foundation you can live with and build on..
So he says - here's our base. There is only one God and that is the God we follow, and here's how we follow. And we follow Him wholeheartedly - all our hearts - all our souls - all our strength. We're committed to that base with our own lives first - That is what we will build our families around. It will be impressed on our hearts individually. First Moses starts with a pretty elementary statement - but it was also pretty in your face as well.. It had a little smack to it. He wanted to make sure the people were fully committed to God as their base - not just giving lip service to it, not just floating on the history of their family's religion..and not just kinda lukewarm or impassionate in their commitment to God. He wanted them to decide and to know what their family foundation would be..to commit to it - now, at the beginning, so that they wouldn't waver from it halfway through. He forced them to commit to the end result at the beginning.
So the parallel becomes pretty obvious but I'll ask it anyway..What is the base of your life gonna be? What is the truth you will stand on with all of your heart and mind and soul? What is the foundation you're gonna build your life and family on?
And if you say, "Well, it's God - I want God to be that foundation - He's gonna be the base for my life and for my family," then I would say great. But be clear on that before you start and what that means..Here's a few more questions for you.
Is your commitment to following Jesus Christ personal? Have you made a step individually to follow Christ with your life? Is there a passion within you to know and to understand the things of God? Do you have a hunger to read God's Word and soak up His truth? Are the things God loves the things you love? Do you have dark areas of your life where you are knowingly choosing to not follow God? Are you waking up every morning asking God to guide and direct and move you throughout the day? Folks, I ask this stuff because I just want you to be sure of your base..and to be committed to that base before you try to mentor or teach or parent anything into the next generation..Because you can't shift the foundation half way through. That doesn't work..You have to start over from scratch if you change the base.
Lots of us do home renovations at different seasons of life. Family needs change and so physical changes are necessary in our homes. Bedrooms get added - living rooms expanded - basements redone and kitchens changed. Our biggest one was a kitchen renovation a few years ago. I think I told you about it. I tore out a few walls and cupboards a few days before Christmas. Great idea, but the timing was a little flawed. (Another story for another day.) Here's my point - home renovations all happen above the foundation - once your foundation is chosen - once it gets laid in the ground, you never change it. You're committed to it. You build on top of the foundation that you started with - it doesn't change. So you better pick one that will last - pick one that has strength and integrity.
Folks, all I can say is this. Jesus Christ is the solid foundation for our lives..and building our families on the truth of God's Word is an incredibly solid base - a base with depth and truth as its corner posts. So parents, I'm asking you to choose a base today and make a choice to follow Jesus Christ closely - to know him intimately - to build a solid foundation for your life based on God's Word and to understand what that means..And then make a choice to be committed to that foundation with all your heart and soul and mind. There's nothing half-hearted about it. It's all or nothing when we follow Jesus. He gave us his life and now he asks for our lives in return. It's a life for a life. So decide - what's your foundation gonna be? And when you have that figured out, that's when you can really start to cook up something great for your family.
Here's the second part of the recipe:
II. Good Old Fashioned Hard Work
Now, if you've made a great soup before, you'll know that it isn't easy. Some soups will have 8 or 10 or 12 different ingredients..all that have to be washed and peeled and cut to the right size and just the right amounts of them added..and it can take a lot of work. Celery and carrots potatoes and onions and meat and spices and herbs - all cut and cubed and measured. This is the best and worst part of the whole soup experience. It's the worst because it's tedious and takes time and effort and a little sweat..
And it's the best because it's practical. Without all that stuff you don't get any soup. Without the practical effort - without preparing the ingredients and adding them to the base - you've got nothing but some broth without a lot of taste. Here's what Moses said..After you've got your family base and foundation figured out..after your commitment to God is impressed on your own heart, then He says - "Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates." (Deuteronomy 6:7-9)
This, folks, is the good stuff. This is what creates a great tasting soup. Moses said - now take the principles of God's Word and apply them to every day life. He says..nothing fancy, really, about creating a great family..just some old fashioned, every day, very practical, hard work. Moses said..Your key role as a parent is as an influencer. Your key strength as an adult is influencing the life of someone younger than you. So as you walk in your life, make sure you use your influence to teach the things of God to the next generation, because folks, remember your foundation..what you are passionately committed to in your life..what makes your heart beat fast - the things that make your soul expand are the same things that will expand the souls and increase the heart rate of the people you have influence over. What you are passionate about as an influencer is what will create passion in those you influence.
And you know what? The next generation desperately needs passionate, godly influences..So influencers (all of you - parents or not), talk about the things of God - talk about your foundation..when you sit at home - or when you're out for a walk - or when you've got an opportunity at night or in the morning..or when you're on the phone or on the way to school or sitting in a class or around the supper table or at work. Talk and live and mentor the principles of God's Word every minute of every day..because every minute of every day is a learning opportunity and a teachable moment.
I love this next line about the Word of God: "Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates." (Deut. 6:8-9). History tells us that these people literally did this. They wrote sentence of God's Word on pieces of paper - scrolls - and put them around their wrists. They wrote portions of Scripture on the walls of their houses. Why? I think as a constant reminder of what the foundation of their lives and family was, and to ensure teachable moments happened within their families -because they understood the critical importance of knowing the words of God.
Folks, the main point here is this - the Word of God must become familiar to us (as parents and influencers). If we are to use our influence the way God intended, then we've gotta have the Word of God - the things of God - the principles we live by - become familiar..Physical reminders.
Our home - written verses everywhere. Fridge - bathroom mirror - bulletin board - physical reminders in front of us all the time..Why? Influence. This is why we do what we do - live like we live - decide what we decide. Sticky note - computer screens - fridge magnets. Whatever you want. But as an influencer, it's a great everyday practical idea - and an amazing way to influence the next generation - to pass on a solid base to our kids. Daily habits - Our family night time rituals.
Thankfulness, story/Bible reading, prayer, blessing, the most important question from the day..
You don't have to do these, but traditions that point to God of some type will create great teachable moments with your family. Intentional teaching - Story of giving something away.
This is a big deal to me..using everyday moments to teach. Just lately, opportunity to lend my truck to someone. Why? Kaden asked. Seize the moment...could have said - that's what nice people do..but instead spoke the principle. Everything we have is a gift from God. He lends it to us to use, and so He asks us to lend to others..So we do it happily. There are a thousand of these per week..especially with a kid like Kaden. All we have to do is seize the opportunity.
Parents and influencers..there is no question that this stuff is really hard work. It takes effort to keep the things of God in front of our own lives..let alone consistently and continuously in front of those we influence.
A couple more thoughts here..Notice that Moses didn't say that we had to be perfect and that if we messed up everything would be lost. In fact, he doesn't even hint that perfection is what's needed. In fact, he suggests the opposite, which is simply being real. Just mentor and influence as you live your life for God..and you know what? Especially parents - cut yourselves some slack. Take the pressure off. God never asked you to be perfect - He asked you to be real in front of your kids.. And sometimes admitting you screwed up as a parent - and admitting that to your kids is the best teaching moment of the day. In fact, some of the most memorable moments for me as a parent - moments when I really thought the kids were "getting it" - happened when I was apologizing for something I had done or said or didn't do..Use everything every day - no matter what - to speak and teach and mentor the things of God. And remember what I said last week? As you influence, you change the world for good and for light and for God..With every moment you shine the light of God brighter into another generation..What an awesome privilege and responsibility
One more aspect to creating great soup:
III. Time
"Train up your children in the way they should go, and when they are old they will not turn from it." (Proverbs 22:6)
The only key line I want you to remember is this.."when they are old."
Time and perspective are always what is needed to create family greatness..Just like a good soup needs time to cook and to let all the juices from every ingredient cook out into the broth..Families need to remember that greatness is never created over night. You can't microwave a great soup and you can't microwave a family to greatness either. Last week I talked a lot about how the negative pressure on the family has increased as our society has gone through rapid change in the last couple generations..and where this has really taken its toll mostly is in the speed at which our society functions. Everything is fast, and most of that is good. Instant is a word that I like..and quick is better than any other option for me..But when it comes to family, instant doesn't work. 40 years ago there was no such thing as instant anything..especially instant soup. It would have been an insult to even suggest soup be hurried along..but now you can open an envelope and pour in a cup of hot water and bam - instant soup.
Well, all I can say is this - you get what you pay for. And when it comes to soup, that's something that should never have become instant. And families can't be in a hurry either - Somehow in this fast-paced world we've got to slow down.
My point is pretty simple and clear..but there is much encouragement here. Listen again to Proverbs 22:6.."Train up your children in the way they should go, and when they are old they will not depart from it." Parents - if you're in a tough spot right now, take comfort in this thought...Maybe "when they are old" isn't that far away. Kids, if you're not wanting to hear your parents right now..take comfort. Your parents might seem a whole lot smarter 10 or 15 years from now. Either way - time is the answer, as simple as it sounds. It's part of the recipe for greatness.
Families, hear this. Take time together. Time enough for everybody's opinion to be heard. Time enough for everyone to be able to talk. Time enough to understand each other. Time enough to know when someone in your family is sad or hurting without them even saying it. Take time to create memories and enjoy life and wrestle down big issues and talk through big topics..and live life together. Because life happens in the little moments when families take time to love and give grace and forgive and enjoy and embrace and laugh.
Families - what you are creating over time is precious. It's a gift from God and it is the answer for the next generation. So hold it gently..make sure you add the right ingredients and cook it well..Don't be in a hurry.
