Well folks, I've been gone the better part of 2 weeks. I've had a chance to rest a bit - also a chance to meet with 8 different pastors - church leaders..Lots of different styles/sizes of churches.
Folks, God is at work all over western Canada. Calgary, Weyburn, Edmonton, Vancouver, Abbotsford. Amazing to see how God is uniquely building and growing His church..How lives are being impacted and families changed by the power of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and through the local church. I wish I could describe what I feel. I saw lots - guess what? No place like home..God is at work among us. He's leading us - changing us - blessing us. I love you folks.
Pray
I was about 14 years old or so and my brothers and I and a couple of my buddies decided we'd go to the exhibition in Melfort, SK. From our farm it was the closest fair and carnival we could get to - We had a set amount of time and money. We were gonna be there all night..My brothers told me I should stay away from a few of the games where there was no chance of winning and only go on certain rides - coaching me.."Just follow us and you'll be fine," they said. Well, we got there and I was excited. First thing we did was eat - (smell of deep fried food in the air). Big greasy burgers, a coke and some fries..Then we played a few games, but all the while the rides just looked so fun. They were loud and crazy - screams and laughter. It looked amazing..So pretty soon we made our way over and started on a couple fairly small and slow rides. Fun - but the lure was for the faster ones. Went on the dragon boat..great ride -but I could feel my stomach get a little queasy - no problem..I was in control. Tilt a whirl (twice) - fun, but after I started feeling really sick..headache, nauseous.waited a couple minutes - friends and brothers saying let's go, you'll be fine. Zipper was next - looked so fun but I was sick. "Well, I'm in control, this is no big deal..I can control my actions, and besides, we're only here one day." That ride looked so enticing, so I caved and went and I got so sick it wasn't even funny. Greasy burger - large coke, large fries.all over. Headache, dizzy..
Worst part was I was side lined for 3 hours watching my friends and brothers..so sick I couldn't even hardly stand up. Moral of the story? Just because something looks good and feels exciting doesn't mean it won't hurt you. It can get out of control pretty fast.
I. Out of Our Control
Today we're talking about sex, and you know what? In our society we have the same idea as I did at the carnival when it comes to sex - Our culture says "we're in control" sexually - but the reality is, we're not. The stats say otherwise..
- Pornography is a $20 billion dollar business in North America.
- The U.S. news and world report stated that the porn industry draws more money than Hollywood's box office receipts, and more than all the revenues generated by rock and country music recordings.
- It's big business. The number of x-rated movies rented is in the millions of dollars at hotel chains.and so they are making tons of money on something that has nothing to do with a great rest..and so the porn industry is in front of us all the time.
- The largest consumers of pornography are males 24 years and younger - and more than 25 million North Americans visit cyber sex sites for between 1 and 10 hours per week. (More than 10 million pornographic sites on the web.)
- An estimated 10 million children worldwide are already involved in the sex industry and the number is growing.
- There are over 3 million cases of sexually transmitted disease among high school students in North America every year.
- Sexual assault is one of the fastest growing crimes in North America.
Clearly we are not in control. I could go on and on and on and on with statistics that just get more and more alarming and more and more twisted.
But I don't need to. Now, I purposely started with the harsh stuff - because we all pretty much thing that porn is bad - disease is ugly - rape is terrible - but what about the more subtle messages (or not so subtle) being sent every day through advertising..I mean, every magazine (fitness to food) has a young, dark, tanned, washboard stomached, muscle bound man and of course a beautiful girl on his arm. The message: Look like this and sex will be great for all of us..The pressure is bad enough for guys, but brutally harsh for women. Just go to any convenience store and look at the magazine rack. Every cover greets you with a waist-starved, breast-enhanced model who supposedly clearly states what men want.
The moral? Guys like ultra-slim women with large breasts. The implication? Be that way and sex will be great for everybody.
Expand on this - what does this do for a man's view of a woman's mind or heart? Our media is devaluing women (and men) to the point where all that matters is that we're thinking about and hoping we could look like that - so that somehow we'd be more sexy - so that somehow we'd have value. Message: sex = value. And sex is only about what your body looks like.
Tim Gardner article - "Our society's view on sex is clearly not based on reality..and we daily are buying deeper into the deception that sex is only about visual stimulation and about immediate gratification..That it's only physical and it doesn't affect any other part of our lives. We are living in a society that is dehumanizing sex - it doesn't have to be real. It can be fake - in a book with pictures that aren't real - in a movie that's got a plot that isn't real - over the internet with people and pictures and situations that aren't real --> We are taking the humanness out of sex and thinking that's ok.." And then we wonder why rape stats are on the rise..
And into this out of control world comes the very real words of Jesus as He's talking to a group of His followers:
"You have heard that is was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell." (Matthew 5:27-30).
Now, was Jesus really saying that one long look or a lingering thought could send us to hell? "Come on Jesus, I don't think so." Well, yes..He was saying that. But listen to the more powerful message behind what He says. In the original language the word Jesus uses for hell here was a description of a huge garbage dump - Gehenna - right outside of Jerusalem. A place where it smelled horrible and looked really bad..A place of decay and rotting and wasting - somewhere you really didn't want to be. Jesus simply reminded them that sex was a serious subject..that it had life and death consequences..He said, "Look people, sex is so powerful and mysterious - so unique and untamable - that unless you learn how to deal with it properly, it's gonna spread all kinds of decay and destruction throughout your whole life."
II. Out of Bounds
Now when I read Jesus' words..I thought man, that sounds so harsh - so strong - so legalistic. (Here's what I learned.) Notice how Jesus starts..
"You have heard it said, 'Do not commit adultery.'" See, Jesus knew the people He was talking to had only heard rules. Don't do this. Don't do that. And "don't commit adultery" was one of them. The religion of that day wanted to compartmentalize everything. If you don't do this and you do do that, you'll probably be okay. They wanted to be rules-oriented --> And folks, rules never work. They only show us how easy they are to break. But Jesus saw our relationship with God as a comprehensive, whole thing..Everything intersecting - no compartments. Jesus said all of life is sacred, and as people, whatever you do involves and impacts your whole person - especially sex. Jesus said..you've heard the rule (Don't commit adultery), but I say this - there is no distinction between your interior life and your behavior. So your thought life, your desires, your eyes or your actions all fall into the same category (same thing).
Now why did Jesus think this way? Couple reasons for this..
1. What we dwell on internally eventually makes it to our behavior.
Dwell/hold bitterness - anger.
Dwell/hold hatred - destroy relationships.
Dwell/hold thoughts - ice cream/a big juicy steak --> my behavior.
Folks, if you think you can dwell on inappropriate sexual stuff (like pornography) and it won't affect your behavior, Jesus said, do the math. It will come out. It will affect your character.
Appleby - "What's down in the well comes up in the bucket."
What we dwell on internally eventually makes it to our behavior and starts to cause decay.
Secondly, Jesus was saying:
2. The interior world of our lives is not hidden from God.
He sees the reality of it all the time.
Kash - our 3 year old - has a really funny response sometimes when he's getting into trouble or when something has gone wrong and it's his fault.
He'll cover his eyes, because he thinks if he can't see you then you can't see him or what he's done..but the evidence is right beside him. A broken toy or a bruised brother or the spilled milk..So it is with us and God. We think that we can hide from God what goes on inside of us - by covering it up. But God sees it all - every bit of it, all the time..
Jesus was saying - your spiritual life is your whole life - no compartments. So whether you're enticed to play around with sexual sin or whether you're stepping in deeper..Jesus says stop because it will affect your entire life --> In fact, He says "I'll help you set up some boundaries so you won't walk into Gehenna."
Last week I was skiing with a friend of mine - Ron Bonar - boss - works with the Free Methodist Church..We're skiing down and I see a place way across that looked like it had good powder - So I wanted to go directly to it - (not take another route - then a chair lift - then get to it). I wanted a shortcut to the good stuff (powder gets me going). So I went down hard and fast - because I knew I needed some speed to get there..And all of a sudden there are big orange signs - out of bounds. And yellow tape everywhere - Caution. Well I didn't care. I kept on. I wanted that good powder..I could just feel what it was gonna be like. Well, I rounded a corner and was ready to go one last fast race..when right in front of me was a huge hole - like a crater - rocks and trees and no snow - horrible. Just on the other side - luring me on was that great powder. (Felt like a kid at the carnival..just keep going - you'll probably be okay.) Well, suddenly the reality hit me - there was no short cut to the good stuff. And I couldn't get there any way I wanted to. And you know - those ski hill operators actually knew the best and the safest route to the good stuff - and if I ignored the boundaries (I hate boundaries) - then I was playing with danger. I could get hurt - I could destroy my skis - I could even get killed..And the worst part of ignoring the boundaries and crashing would be - I'd never get to that great powder.
See, the boundaries were there to protect me and to show me the best route I could go on to get to the good stuff. And eventually I got to it - (the right way) and it was amazing - best skiing I've had in a long time. Folks, if you want to get to the good stuff sexually - you gotta stay in the boundaries - follow God's path. He'll guide you to the good stuff - to the best stuff - but realize there are no shortcuts.
Now, let me say a few words about the best stuff sexually. The Bible is very clear where the boundaries lie sexually. God said keep sex within marriage only and only be married to one person. That's how to enjoy complete sexual fulfillment.
III. The Best Stuff
You know, the Bible is unapologetic - unblushing - and crystal clear in its praise of sexual desire within marriage..Listen to how Adam (the first man) responded when he saw Eve (the first woman) - his wife:
"The man said, 'This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called "woman," for she was taken out of man.'" (Genesis 2:23)
Notice that Adam didn't say "gee, thanks God. But could you change her body a little so she looks like that swimsuit model?" No - to paraphrase what Adam said it was more like "Wow God, thanks! She's everything I need." Then Genesis gives us the true key to great sex: "The man and his wife were both naked and unashamed." Catch that - naked - physically, emotionally, spiritually, and unashamed. They said to each other, "Here are my dreams, my thoughts, my prayers and my body. I take comfort in knowing you accept them just as they are." That's where great sex comes from..See, God's plan is that much more than our bodies come together..but that within the bounds of marriage, our souls and minds and bodies all meld together over a lifetime. Amazing picture. (More on that next week - souls uniting)
Couples - want some interesting before bed Bible reading? Try this one - Listen to this: "How beautiful you are and how pleasing, O love, with your delights! Your stature is like that of the palm, and your breasts like clusters of fruit. I said, 'I will climb the palm tree, I will take hold of its fruit.' May your breasts be like the clusters of the vine, the fragrance of your breath like apples, and your mouth like the best wine.'"
(Song of Songs 7:6-9)
(It's just a little warm in here, don't you think?)
Clearly, the Bible is advocating the whole idea of sexual desire within marriage (not outside)..I mean, it was God who created it - yes, God - not some Hollywood movie producer. (Next week - talk more specifically about the good stuff and God's design for healthy and exciting sexual lives.)
Now, let's get back to Jesus' original words..and what He was getting at.
IV. A Misguided Longing
This is so big. Catch this. Jesus used these words "He who looks after a woman lustfully." That phrase means to have a deep longing for - a passionate soul fulfilling kind of desire.. It's life defining desire. And it's the kind of fulfillment and longing and desire that only God can fill in our lives..And Jesus knew that.
Catch this - Jesus was saying - you can't replace that kind of soul desire with sex..He was saying - if you look at a woman (or a woman looks at a man) and you ask him/her to give you what only God can give - you're in deep trouble..and you're headed for a bad future. It'll bring decay into your life. That carnival ride is gonna make you sick. You better avoid that kind of ride..People, hear this truth - every last one of us was born with part of us missing in our lives..a part of our souls - a part of life that is missing. A hole in our lives. A longing that unless we find what will fill that hole - unless we can fulfill that longing - we'll never be whole. And folks, God is the only one who can fill it - It's a God-sized, God-shaped hole.
Well folks, Jesus knew that about us, and so He said - make sure that when you're searching to find something to fill that longing..and that hole..make sure that you fill it with God. Because nothing else will fit - in fact, if you try and fill it with the wrong stuff, it could destroy you. See, some of us have tried to fill it with booze and it turned into an addiction and took over our lives. Some of us have tried to fill it with drugs - same thing happened. Some of us tried to fill it with money and power - but we found the incredible emptiness that can bring - and the relational destruction in the wake of that path. People, do you know how many families have been wounded, because of someone looking for more money and power and moving up the ladder - in hopes that somehow that would bring fulfillment..and instead it brought decay and destruction.
And lastly some of us choose sex hoping that in the search for love or comfort or just someone to share ourselves with..we will find fulfillment and that hole in our souls will somehow get filled.
(C.K. Chesterton?) put it like this.."Every man who knocks on the door of a brothel is looking for God." The Apostle Paul put it like this - "We exchange the truth of God for a lie." (Romans 1:25). And Jesus said - just don't even go there. Don't look for God where God doesn't live..because you'll bring all kinds of hurt and decay and destruction to your life - that might last forever. Jesus said - I'm not gonna tell you a rule - but instead, I'm gonna remind you that God loves you and He created you to find fulfillment and He desperately wants to help you avoid the pain and decay and hurt that a misplaced use of sex can cause --> so Jesus said - hear this -
Just stay away from the caution areas. Stay away from the boundary markers - even though it looks fun and exciting and mesmerizing..There is no short cut to the good stuff sexually. Short cuts will only cause pain and suffering and decay to your soul.
V. Out of the Weeds
Now - before I end, I want to be very straightforward and practical.
1. Men, deal with this head on.
I've been kind of philosophical today..theological..but I need to be practical. What are you doing with pornography? How much time are you spending in books, on the internet.how captivated are you? Analyze this. Catch this next line. It's sin and it causes decay in your soul and character and life and if you dwell there and let its roots go way down deep, you will mess up your whole life - no question. It's just a matter of time.
2. Women, do some homework.
Here's what we've been finding..most women are shocked to find out that their husbands or men in general are even able to get addicted to porn. They are surprised when it hits so close to home. Women, please don't be naïve. Do some reading. E-mail us. We'll give you some info. (Gloria/Elizabeth). One book - "The Sexual Man" is pretty good info. on how men think about sex.
3. Parents, guard your homes.
Your job is to lead your children to Jesus Christ and lead them away from danger morally - spiritually. So let me ask you - Do you know what your kids are watching or doing on the computer you've got for them to use? Be leaders - be wise. Get that computer out of their bedrooms and put it in the main area of the house..Be diligent with leading your kids on this. "My kid will never have a computer in their room."
As parents, we can't let decay start in our kids' lives..if we can help it. |
