Recently a father was trying to take an afternoon nap on a Sunday afternoon in his living room and his little boy kept bugging him saying, "Daddy, I'm bored." So his father, trying to make up a game, found a picture of a globe in the newspaper, a picture of the world. He ripped it up in about 50 pieces and he said, "Son this is a puzzle. I want you to put it all back together." He laid down to finish his nap, thinking he would get at least another hour and a half to two hours of sleep. In about 15 minutes the little boy woke him up saying, "Daddy, I've got it finished. It's all put together." "You're kidding." He knew his son didn't know all the positions of the nations and things like that. He said, "How did you do that?" He said, "Dad, there was a picture of a person on the back page of that newspaper and when I got my person put together, the world looked just fine."
We're beginning a new series today we're calling "The Road to Recovery." It's going to work on your person. It's amazing how much better the world looks when your person is put together in the right way. We're going to talk in this series about how to handle and how to overcome the hurts in your life, the habits that are messing up your life and the hang-ups that cause pain in your life. Hurts, habits, and hang-ups.
The verse we've chosen for our theme verse in our series "The Road to Recovery" is Isaiah 57:18. God speaking, "I have seen how they acted but I will heal them, I will lead them and help them and I will comfort those who mourn. I offer peace to all near and far." This is a great promise of God. Notice there are five parts to recovery that God wants to do in your life.
First, if you have been hurt, God says "I want to heal you."
If you're confused, "I want to lead you."
If you've ever felt you were helpless to change anything, "I want to help you change that."
If you've ever felt no one understands your problem, "I want to comfort you."
If you feel anxious and worried and afraid, "I want to offer peace to you."
The fact is life is tough. We live in an imperfect world. We're hurt by other people and we hurt ourselves and we hurt other people. The Bible says, "All have sinned." That means none of us are perfect, we've all blown it, we've all made mistakes. We hurt and we hurt others.
This series is for everybody. Everyone in this room needs recovery, unless you've lived a perfect life. But if you haven't lived a perfect life, if you've ever been hurt, if you've ever had a hang-up or a habit that you'd like to get rid of, you need recovery.
WHAT DO YOU NEED RECOVERY FROM?
The good news is this: regardless of the problem you need recovery from, whether it's emotional, financial, relational, spiritual, sexual or whatever, regardless of what you need recovery from, the steps to recovery are always the same. They are always the same.
The principles for recovery are found in the Bible. It's the original recovery manual. In 1935 a couple of guys formulated, based on the Scriptures, what are now known as the classic 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous used by hundreds of other recovery groups.
Today, millions of North Americans are in a recovery group every week and there are 500,000 different groups. And the basis is God's Word.
We're gonna take 4 weeks - through November - and study up on these 12 steps that all of us need to build our lives around..(Today we'll cover the first 3 steps.)
The First Step - I admit I am powerless to control my tendency to do wrong things and my life is unmanageable..
Let me ask you some questions...
Do you ever stay up late when you know you need sleep?
Do you ever eat or drink more calories than your body needs?
Do you ever feel you ought to exercise but you don't?
Do you ever know the right thing to do but you don't do it?
Do you ever know something is wrong but you do it anyway?
Have you ever known you should be unselfish but you're selfish instead?
Have you ever tried to control somebody or something and found it was uncontrollable?
If your answer to any of those questions is yes..then welcome to what's called being human. We all need recovery.
Step 1 - "I admit I am powerless to control my tendency to do wrong things." The Bible has a word for this...The Bible calls that tendency our sin nature..and it's man's oldest problem...We do things that aren't good for us - and we do them even when they're self-destructive. We respond the wrong way when we're hurt and it just increases our pain. We react the wrong way to people or treat them wrongly and relationships backfire. Sometimes we try very hard to fix our problems and often when we try to fix them they become worse than when we started....
The Apostle Paul put it like this.."I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I don't do, but what I hate I do." (Romans 7:15) That sounds just a little too familiar doesn't it? So many times in my life....I end up doing what I don't want to do - and end up not doing what I want to do....
People, take finances for an example. How we spend our money often fits right into this...We know we should save more and we know we should give more - but our habits of spending won't allow us to be disciplined - our actions lack self control and even though we don't want to- we live selfishly with our money.....We end up doing what we really don't want to do...Our sin nature wins again...
The cause of this problem focuses in on one word - control. We want control of our lives and we think we can do a fine job of living them - on our own...I can decide what's right or wrong. I don't need anyone telling me what's right and wrong...I want to call the shots - I want to make my own rules..I want to be the boss - and whatever I think is good for me I'll do..I want control...and folks - the more insecure we are, the more we're driven to control..The more insecure you and I are - the more we want to control ourselves, control other people, control our environments, and we're driven to this...
Again - this is man's oldest problem. Even Adam and Eve had it - God put them in Paradise and they even tried to control Paradise...
God said "You can do anything you want in this entire Paradise (all inclusive resort) except one thing - Don't eat from this certain tree...." So what do they do? They walked right over to that tree...to the only thing in Paradise God said was off limits....Interesting that Satan said..."Eat this apple (or whatever) and you'll be gods.". That's been the problem ever since...See..they wanted to play God...They wanted control over their lives - they thought they knew better...They wanted to call the shots and run their own lives and be their own gods...After all, what did God know anyway? And what has changed in a few thousand years? Nothing. We still want control. We still want to play God and be God and do God's job in our lives and in other lives...
Control is the real issue..I want to be in control. We try to control ourselves, other people, and everything around us...We try to control our problems - and say things like "I can handle this - it's not that big a problem...I'm fine..I don't need any help and I certainly don't need counseling - I can quit on my own..I can control this.." And the more you try to fix the problem - the worse it gets...(that's someone trying to play God).
We try to control other people too...Parents control kids..Kids control parents...Wives try to control husbands and husbands try to control wives. People try to control other people. Office politics - in your office. Sports politics - in you kid's life.
We are always trying to manipulate people and situations...to control other people....even how other people view who we really are. We hide certain parts of ourselves and bring out only that side of things that looks good to others. We also try to control our pain..We run from it. We try to avoid it - deny it - reduce it and postpone it..any way we can. Sometimes by eating - or drinking or smoking or taking drugs or by getting in and out of relationships..or you may become angry or critical or judgmental or abusive....or just depressed....There are a thousand ways to try and control your pain and none of them work.
Pain and darkness come when we realize in our quiet moments we're not God and we can't control everything. Some of you have felt the darker side of control as well....
When we are afraid someone's gonna find out who we really are - that we don't have it all together - that we're not perfect...and we fear they won't like us...And that fear drives us back to try and control more.
Frustration is another dark side of control....See, when we try to control us and other people and everything else..we get frustrated - because people and life don't do what we think they should. So problems come up and relational conflict comes up and stress rises and doubt...and it takes time....and it's frustrating..David in the Old Testament said it well "My dishonesty made me miserable and filled my days with frustration."
People hear this - If you're frustrated - it's the symptom of a deeper problem you haven't dealt with..The root issue - is control. You're trying to control everything and it doesn't work..After fear and frustration comes fatigue and failure....
See folks, it's really tiring playing God..Trying to control everything - pretending you've got it all together. Denial takes energy and so does control. It makes us tired and after fatigue comes failure....Eventually every one of us will get to a place where we realize we're not God.....
Where we know (if we're honest) that our attempts to control our own lives and others have made life a mess....And a darkness sweeps over us that can only be described as sin. Proverbs 28:13 (GN) - "You'll never succeed in life if you try to hide your sins. Confess them - give them up - then God will show you mercy."
Now some of you know this darkness. You live in it - or have felt the reality of an unmanageable life...You know you have weaknesses and you've felt that fatigue and frustration and failure..You know you can't do it on your own. Others of you here haven't reached that place yet..My hope is that today will cause you to rethink your ability to manage your own life..
On the outside your life looks great. You've got a great job. You're making money. You've got a wife and 3 kids and a sport utility vehicle. You're in control - it's all good! But inside you know there's holes in your life - anger problems, stress and frustration, tiredness, lack of patience, relationship with your spouse....Now, you may not be at that place yet where you see it clear - but your life is already unmanageable. It's just a matter of time.....
See, it isn't just alcoholics or gamblers or addicts that live an unmanageable dark life and need to get whole by letting go of control. We all do - It's just that alcoholics and addicts sometimes see their failure quicker...
The first step on this path to wholeness is to admit my powerlessness. If I want to get my act together...I need God and I need other people.
I'm powerless to do it on my own.
I'm powerless to change my past - no matter what I do - I can't get rid of it.
I'm powerless to control other people. I try to do it, but it doesn't work. I can't control other people.
And I'm powerless to cope with my harmful habits, behaviors and actions...Good intentions and will power are not enough. I continue to fail on my own.I'm powerless..
Pretty dark isn't it? That's step #1 - to not only realize but to admit that I am powerless to control my tendency towards doing wrong things - and because of that my life is unmanageable.
You know what the Bible says..."God opposes the proud - but gives grace to the humble..." (James 4:6). Grace is the power to change - our lives - our hurts - our hangups. We all need God's grace - and the only way to get it is to be humble. "God - I admit I have a problem..it's called sin. I have needs and I have hurts. My life is unmanageable and I need help.." That's the most humble line in the world..but it's the first step to wholeness..
Step #2 says this - Earnestly believe that God exists - that I matter to Him and that He has the power to help me recover....and it's the light at the end of the tunnel.
If Step #1 is all about understanding our weakness and seeing the dark part of our lives...then Step #2 is all about hope. You see, the Bible says that in admitting my weakness I find strength..This step is all about coming to terms with the idea of surrender for victory. If I give up I win. If I give my life to God, I then have the strength I need to live..
Hebrews 11:6 says.."Anyone who comes to God must believe He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him..." Step #2 is all about finding someone who can help manage my life better than I can. Here's how I've always pictured God's place in my life - I've always thought of Him as a coach - more specifically - a football coach. If you watch a football game and it's nearing then end - maybe one team is down by 5 points and the quarterback calls a time out - what happens? He goes to talk to the coach to get some help...but what does the coach on the sidelines do? He talks to another coach who is about 100 feet in the air and watches from above and they communicate through headphones...It's the coach up above that usually calls the plays....He's the one who's got the whole playing field in view. He's the one who's got the whole game in his sight. He's got the best angle for what should happen next and for what the quarterback should do to succeed. He not only understands the situation the quarterback is in, but he cares about how to fix it and he has the ability to help the quarterback fix the situation he's in....if the quarterback will only listen...
See folks....God knows all about the situation you're in....(say that to someone next to you) that habit and that hurt - that hang-up. He knows the good and the bad of every one of our lives. He has clearly seen how we've been playing this game called life....And you know what? He really cares about our situation as well. It's a heart thing to Him....Psalm 103 says "He's like a Father to us, tender and sympathetic - for He knows what we are made of - dust.." It's a great line....He knows what we're made of and how frail we are - and because of that He loves us tenderly and sympathetically..
People hear this as well - God can change me and my situation - (say that out loud with me) no matter what kind of mess we've got going.....See, He's got the angle..His picture of our lives is completely other than what we see...He knows exactly how we got to where we are and He knows how to get us out. He's got the perfect next play lined up for us. Luke 18 says this and I love it....."What is impossible for me is possible with God." I could stand up here all day and point out people - real people - in this church who thought they could never change in a million years....But they did because of the power of God - because they listened to the One from above - the One with a different angle on their life and they said...I'm gonna let Him call the play and I'll try it His way.....He's the coach - I'm the player...And He knows my life and my situation and He cares deeply about me....So why wouldn't I let Him direct me forward....Why would I fight for control with God - Why not let Him lead me....and I'll follow.....
That's Step #2...Coming to grips with the idea that if we give up - we win....and that surrender equals victory in our lives when we give ourselves to a God big enough to hold the whole world in His hands... Amazing realization the day that happens...Here's Step #3...
Step #3 - Consciously choose to commit all my life and will to God's care and control.
Remember - these steps build on one another....If Step 1 is realizing our dark side....and that it's not manageable on my own, then Step 2 is about giving the mental ascent that God is the only one who can help me...He's got the power I need - if I give Him my life....just let go - and let God...Then Step 3 is moving that truth from your head to your heart....Don't just think about giving your life to God - do it. Consciously choose.
This week I heard the story about a pet store delivery truck going down the road. And every stop light he came to he'd run to the back of the truck, grab a 2x4 and start beating on the side of the truck. Nobody could figure out what he was doing, so finally somebody asked him, "What are you doing?" He said, "This is only a 2 ton truck and I'm carrying 4 tons of canaries and I've got to keep 2 tons of them in the air all the time."
For a lot of us, that's how life feels sometimes..We're stuck in a situation where progress is tough because we've got to keep too many things in the air or the whole thing will come crashing down....and that's a really tough place to live....
Steps 1 and 2 are about realizing we're stuck and can't keep our birds in the air....Step #3 gets us out of the hole we're in....But it's a choice to take action. It's a decision to walk across a line. In Matthew 11 Jesus says "Come to me all you who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest...." Jesus says come to me. It's an invitation - I'll make your life easier. I will lighten your load. You will find relief. You will have rest....He simply says give me control and care of your life and watch what I do....Life will be easier - less stressful....
This third step is about total surrender - It's about sliding into the passenger seat and giving Him the wheel.....It's about clearly giving God the keys - the mortgage - the job - the kids - the money - the thoughts - the stress - Giving them completely to the control of God..... He's driving - we're riding...Complete surrender of my will to the control of God. So let's get right to it..I want this to be very practical for you..
What does it mean to take this step? 3 things.
1. I accept God's Son Jesus as my Savior. I need to be saved. I need help. I realize I need Him in my life. The Bible says this, "Believe in the Lord Jesus and you will be saved." What does it mean? It means committing as much of myself as I understand at this moment to as much of Christ as I understand at this moment. Is that good enough? That is good enough.
2. I accept God's Word as my standard for living. From now on we've got a manual that we're going to live our lives by. We do have an instruction manual. It's the Bible. God says that this book is your standard by which you evaluate life around you. Notice this verse: "All Scripture is inspired by God and useful for teaching the faith and correcting error for resetting the direction of a man's life, training him in good living." Accepting God's word is critical.
3. I accept God's power as my strength. Phil. 4:13 "I can do everything God asks me with the help of Christ who gives me the strength and power." No longer do I have to rely on my own energy. Things work better when they're plugged in. You get plugged into God, you're not so tired all the time. God says I will give you My power to be all I want you to be.
Jesus says "I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door I will come in and live with him." Jesus says "I'm standing at the door of your life and I'm knocking and I'm saying I want to come into your life" but He's a gentleman. He'll not beat the door down. Step Three means to open the door. The key that unlocks that door is willingness. "Willpower is willingness to accept God's power." You don't need willpower; you need willingness to accept God's power in your life, and to go by His controls, His system.
You know, pilots fly planes in a couple different ways. One is by instruments and one is visual. When a pilot flies by instruments, he trusts the control tower to land him safely and he truest the equipment to bring him in safely.The pilot simply submits to the controls of the system an dit's a done deal..When a pilot flies visually, he is flying by what he sees..and this is a great way to fly as long as you can see everything. If it's clear weather and not much air traffic. But one day - if you fly enough - you're gonna hit bad weather and your gonna get lost in some clouds. And at one certain point you have to pick up the microphone and say "I need to switch to instruments" and you make a choice to submit to the control and authority of someone else that you trust with your life. The FAA says that a lot of these small plane crashes could be prevented if the person in the cockpit, when they get lost in the clouds, simply picked up the microphone and said "I need help"...But you know what? Nobody likes to admit they're lost or need help. They think they can control it..and what happens? Boom - the whole thing comes crashing down...
Folks, tonight three things need to happen:
- We need to see our sin - it's real. Hurts, habits, hang-ups.
- We need to understand that God wants to help us - He can help us.
- When we see those first 2 steps, number 3 makes sense - I consciously commit my life to Christ.
If you're ready to do that, then pray this prayer with me:
Dear God, I know my sin is real and that it has separated me from you. Thank you Jesus for dying on the cross for me. Please forgive my sin. Thank you that you have the power to transform my life. Please begin to direct my life from this moment on. Amen.
There are 2 things you need to do if you made that decision:
- Fill out a communication card and we'll send you some next step info.
- Tell someone about the commitment you made.
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